A memorable time of my life: exerpt

Thursday, November 11, 2010

La Traviata

Exerpt from Operatic Divas and Naked Irishmen: An Innkeeper's Tale

a work-in-progress by Nancy Hinchliff

Demanding operatic divas, naked Irishmen walking in their sleep, and honeymooners leaving remnants of an unforgettable wedding night are all part of the flamboyant and interesting guests who came in and out of my life as an Innkeeper; each bringing his or her own unique personality and quirkiness to the table. Although the percentage of high-maintenance, demanding guests we had was pretty low, there were several who really stood out in my memory.

One of the most memorable was an eccentric opera singer who wore the more flamboyant and outlanddish costumes I have ever seen. She must have thought she was still on stage because, in addition to her colorful costumes, her daily entrances into the dining room were breath taking.

Chapter 8, opening:

I remember the day she arrived vividly.

I opened the door to a barrage of people, having no idea who they might be. The only person scheduled to check in that night was a single, elderly lady.

"I am Madame Rosalina Capriani!” the woman announced, "and these are my suitcases".

I scanned the four men accompanying her and, sure enough, each one was carrying a suitcase...

She extended a long, well rounded arm covered in silky, red, purple and green, part of a flowing cape encircled heavily in dancing Magenta fringe. I stood there in awe, as she flamboyantly glided through the doorway, motioning to her walking suitcases to follow..........

Agent Pet Peeves

*Queries with lots of big paragraphs or tiny font

*An email asking about how to submit
a query

*Use a generic greeting (To Whom It May Concern or my favorite, Dear Sirs) or address it to the wrong name.

*A Lack of Professionalism,

*Saying "God told me to write this"

*Anything cliché such as ‘It was a dark and stormy night’ will turn me off. I hate when a narrator or author addresses the reader e.g., 'Gentle reader'

*Too casual, too colloquial, too cute and anything else that tries too hard to "stand out."

*Manuscripts that open with a line of dialogue (esp. one with an exclamation point) and those whose opening line “dumps” exposition.

*Clichés in plot summary—Argh. These are way more common than you’d think: "thought she had it all," "will stop at nothing," "must risk everything"— Beware.